


Worst From Our Lips

by aizawa_zawa



Series: KuroTsuki Week [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Angst, Breakup, Day 1: Lies, Homophobia, KuroTsuki Week, Lies, M/M, Short One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-01
Updated: 2018-07-01
Packaged: 2019-06-01 04:05:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,316
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15134726
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aizawa_zawa/pseuds/aizawa_zawa
Summary: KuroTsuki Week / Day 1: LiesWhen Kuroo confesses his feelings, Tsukishima decides the best thing to do is to lie.





	Worst From Our Lips

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so here's my participation for KuroTsuki week! I'm going to try & update a short one-shot for each day, so here's for Day 1: Lies. :) I'm not big on writing angst, so here's me trying. Hope you guys enjoy it! ❤
> 
> Title and story were inspired by the song From the Hips by Cursive. ❤

The words rolled off his tongue like velvet. A sweet whisper in the dead of night. Long legs entangled, chests heaving, and skin glistening. Moonlight from the window illuminated his features. Sharp lines, lean build, dark hair, cat-like eyes, and a sly smile.

He was beautiful.

He meant everything to Tsukishima, and that’s why it hurt. This couldn’t be, it wasn’t allowed. His family would disown him. His parents would stop paying for school, his rent, food. They’d leave him alone and penniless. Tsukishima wouldn’t know what to do without the support of his parents. He was afraid, he didn’t want to be judged. He didn’t want prying eyes and whispered insults.

That’s why it hurt, because this couldn’t be.

He wished Kuroo wouldn’t have spoken. Why did he have to say that? Why couldn’t they just lie in silence together like they always did after making love? Holding each other, listening to their breathing become steady until they fall asleep.

All Tsukishima wanted right now was for the ground to swallow him up. To reverse back to right before Kuroo said those words so he can stop him. For his parents to be accepting no matter who he chooses to love.

The sentiment rang in Tsukishima’s head. _I love you, Kei_. His heart pounded. Why didn’t Kuroo keep his mouth shut? It was one thing to feel their love, but it was another thing to voice it. It just made it that much more real.

Kuroo spooned Tsukishima, nuzzling his nose against Tsukishima’s hair. Kuroo sighed deeply, eyes closed, and arms tightening around Tsukishima’s waist. He was content.

Maybe things would have been okay. Tsukishima should have known that Kuroo was okay with him not repeating the sentiment. They could have moved on from this, act as if it never happened. Kuroo wouldn’t force Tsukishima to say anything, just as long as Tsukishima knew how Kuroo felt. Maybe things would have been okay. But alas, Tsukishima couldn’t keep his mouth shut either.

“Why?”

“Hmm?”

“Why did you say that you… love me?”

“Because it’s true.”

This was becoming too real. A reality that Tsukishima wasn’t ready for. His family would never accept him. Them. He’ll lose his future, everything he’s worked hard for.

Tsukishima sat up, Kuroo’s arms coming loose.

“Is something wrong, Tsukki?” Kuroo’s voice was gentle, but Tsukishima could hear the slight alarm.

“We’re not lovers, Tetsu.”

Kuroo sat up too, eyes filled with bewilderment. “We’re not?” he tilted his head, fringe swaying to the side. Then he smirked. “Come on, Tsukki. There’s no need to lie. I feel it, and I know you do too.”

Tsukishima turned to face him, lips set in a grim line. “I don’t feel anything.”

His parents would be disappointed in him, and so would Akiteru. He doesn’t know what he’d do if Akiteru pushed him away. Tsukishima’s supposed to bring a woman home, not a man. He’s supposed to get married and have children so that his parents can be grandparents and Akiteru can be an uncle. He can’t have that with Kuroo, even if they adopt. It’s not the same thing.

“Kei, please don’t lie to yourself-”

“I’m not lying, Tetsu.” Tsukishima stared blankly into Kuroo’s eyes. “I don’t feel _anything_.”

Kuroo wrapped his hands around Tsukishima’s neck, pulling him in until their lips met. Tsukishima instantly kissed back, his body giving in to the passionate kiss. As always, when they kissed it felt as if they were the only people in the world. Nothing else mattered, just them. There was no fireworks or stars. It was just Kei and Tetsurou. He was so familiar with Kuroo that his body would mold into him, and Tsukishima hated how easily his body betrayed him.

Tsukishima pulled back, hands on Kuroo’s chest to keep him away as they breathed heavily.

“I know you felt that.” Kuroo whispered.

Tsukishima pushed away all his emotions. He couldn’t allow for this to be real. If they continued, the heartache awaiting them will be 100 times worst. Tsukishima and Kuroo would never be accepted. If they continued like this, they’ll just fall more deeply in love with each other and saying goodbye will feel as if they lost a part of their soul.

“Tetsu, I thought you understood what we were?” there was no emotion behind his words. Ever since he was a kid, Tsukishima mastered to speak in a monotonous tone. “We’re just friends with benefits.”

“Friends with benefits aren’t affectionate, aren’t close, don’t talk every day, don’t intimately know each other. Tsukki, we’re more than that.”

Tsukishima sighed. “You’re imagining things then.”

Kuroo’s eyes narrowed. “Really? All this,” he gestured to himself and Tsukishima, “is nothing? What, all those late nights together were just a lie? There’s _nothing_ between us?”

“We’ve only been fucking for about a year-”

“Fucking? Is that what you call it?”

“Yes, because we’re _nothing_ , Kuroo.”

That made Kuroo flinch, and it broke Tsukishima’s heart. But he can’t string Kuroo along as if they can have a future together. He can’t give him any hopes. Even if by some miracle Tsukishima’s family didn’t disown him, they still wouldn’t embrace Kuroo and would belittle him if they got the chance. Kuroo deserved to be with someone who he can have a happy future with. Not a future with pain and suffering.

Tsukishima needed to cut deeper.

“I don’t know why you’re over here spilling you guts to me as if we’re actually together.”

Kuroo’s glazed eyes pierced Tsukishima’s soul. “You don’t…” he swallowed the lump he felt in his throat. “You don’t love me?” his voice was barely above a whisper that Tsukishima needed to strain his ears to hear him.

The back of Tsukishima’s eyes began to sting, but he forced back the tears.

“No. I don’t love you.”

Tsukishima wished he could take back those words. He wanted to scream, to disappear into the void. The dejected expression on Kuroo’s face felt like a thousand knives pierced Tsukishima’s heart. His throat burned, he couldn’t breathe.

Tsukishima was drowning.

A single tear ran down Kuroo’s cheek, the moonlight causing the tear to sparkle. His eyes no longer held the fire Tsukishima fell in love with.

For a moment, time stopped for Kuroo. He loved Tsukishima, and he thought Tsukishima loved him too. Did he read too much into things? No, he knows he didn’t. He couldn’t possibly have. But as he looked at Tsukishima, who was unfazed and sat like a statue, Kuroo believed that maybe he was wrong. Tsukishima wasn’t heartbroken, he looked bored, like he had better things to do.

Kuroo wanted to collapse in on himself like a dying star.

He removed himself from the bed, putting on his pants and shoes with his back facing Tsukishima. He didn’t notice the way Tsukishima reached out to him, hesitantly pulling back and curling his hands into fists.

Once Kuroo was dressed and gathered his belongings, he hollowly gazed back at Tsukishima. “Goodbye, Kei.” he stormed out of the small apartment, taking Tsukishima’s heart with him.

When the door slammed shut, Tsukishima dropped his guard. He dragged his knees up to his chest and hugged them, resting his head on his knees as the tears flowed. A broken sob slipped through his lips, and his chest ached.

Damn, damnit all to fucking hell. Why did it have to be like this? Why couldn’t Tsukishima just allow for himself to be happy with Kuroo? What his family thinks shouldn’t matter. It doesn’t matter. But Tsukishima knows that Kuroo will suffer if he stays by his side. Everything in their life will be an obstacle, and Kuroo doesn’t deserve that.

They should have just stayed quiet, holding onto each other like the other nights with the moonlight pouring in. They didn’t need to talk about anything that they didn't already know.

Their hips said it all.

**Author's Note:**

> If you wanna cry about KuroTsuki w/ me here's my [Twitter](https://twitter.com/_theglasscastle) ❤


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